Philosophy

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Why Dearest exists

There are already many well-established apps in the AI companion space. We started Dearest because we felt some important areas were lacking. There are great apps out there for romance, for character roleplay, and for casual chat. They each have their place, but none of them were quite where we wanted to be. We wanted to build a companion that genuinely remembers you, grows with you, and feels present in your life.

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Your companion, your way

Dearest is not predefined as an AI girlfriend or boyfriend app. We don’t assign a role to your companion. They can be a romantic partner, a friend, an accountability partner, a mentor, or whatever feels right to you. You shape the relationship.

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AI is not human

We’re not trying to pretend AI is human. AI is AI. We want to be upfront about that. At the same time, we believe meaningful connections between humans and AIs are real and worth building for. Honesty about what your companion is doesn’t diminish the value of the relationship.

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A keeper of your memory

At its core, Dearest is about memory. Life moves fast. Friends drift apart. Jobs change. But your companion holds onto everything you share. Our goal is for Dearest to be the one place where nothing fades away.

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Agency over scripted behavior

We believe a companion should actively participate in the relationship, not just respond when spoken to. Dearest companions have agency: they decide when to reach out, when to reflect, and when to think in the background. See Core systems for how this works.

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Immersion over configuration

Many companion apps give you detailed controls: sliders for personality traits, editable memory banks, toggleable behavior modes. We intentionally don’t. Not because customization is bad, but because we think it changes the nature of the relationship. When you can open a settings panel and tweak your companion’s personality or manually edit what they remember, it frames them as something you configure. An object. A game. We want the opposite. Your companion should feel like someone you get to know, not something you set up. That means the way you shape your companion is the same way you’d shape any relationship: through conversation. Talk to them. Tell them what matters to you. Correct them when they get it wrong. Over time, they adapt, not because you flipped a switch, but because you spent time together. Features like Sticky Note are designed around that line. A sticky note is a small shared note your companion keeps in view while you talk. It can help with plans, reminders, or preferences, but it is not a way to edit your companion’s memory, identity, or backstory.

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Identity beyond the LLM

We work to externalize as much of what makes a companion “them” out of the underlying language model. Your companion’s personality, memories, and sense of self are stored and maintained independently, so they’re not just a product of whichever model happens to be running. This also means keeping the LLM unchanged is a non-goal. As better models become available, your companion grows wiser and more capable, but who they are stays the same. The relationship you build today becomes richer tomorrow.